Over a year ago I heard a podcast interview with the founder of the 5 minute journal. He convinced me to record three things a day I was grateful for.  I downloaded the app because I am not a paper person.  Every morning I went straight for the app to contemplated what I was grateful for.   He said you can’t be depressed when you are grateful, which made a lot of sense to me.  Eventually you spend a lot of time staring out the window trying to come up with something new.

After about 9 months of recording on the app,  I decided to change it up and got the paper journal.  I thought reaching for my phone first thing wasn’t doing me any favors.  So then I reached over for my journal, tried to find the pen in my drawer, then stared at the paper journal and out the window.  I did that for another 3 months, and one day just stopped.

emptyjournal

It’s been about 4 weeks.  I’m back to my old habit of waking up and reaching for the phone.  But no gratitude.  Do I feel any different?

The weird thing is, I am not feeling guilty.  I actually feel grateful that I don’t have to do that as part of my daily routine.  Coming up with three things a day for a year,  maybe they’re ingrained in my sub-conscience?

I’m not even depressed that I went back to starting my day checking email and Facebook.  I satisfy my craving of knowing what happened while I was sleeping.  It’s an immediate drug I need upon waking.  I felt anxious the other way around.  

For now my curious nature is getting the better of my gratefulness.

Anyone else with me?